What 2012 Has Taught me

At first thought of the passing of 2012 I thought GOOD RIDDANCE! This was a year from hell. Then I realized tucked away in all of the adversity that I have faced were lessons that have molded me to who I currently am and forced me to evolve. 

It has taught me first and foremost not to take anything or anyone for granted. The first half of this year was possibly the most trying time of my life. It literally felt like everything beneath me was crumbling. I fell into a place where I just got sick of crying and got sick of feeling sorry for myself and the situations around me. 

It taught me to stand up for myself because unless I actively do something, nothing will fall into my lap. It taught me to fight for myself and to toughen up. It forced me to get out of my by default shy shell. It encouraged me to seek out experiences to better myself professionally and personally. I look at my old self from a few years ago and I would not recognize myself. I would not be able to fathom that I would be capable of doing these things. 

While 2012 taught me a lot about myself I truly hope that ushering in 2013 will allow me to simply be happy. Happy by things big and small and to stop worrying so darn much. I worried enough in 2012 to last me a lifetime. I hope to be at peace with situations that I can not change and know that all things have a remarkable way of turning out. I just have to have faith in it and in those involved. I hope to also create time to do those things that IIIIII want to do. I want to have time to be creative, paint, get into photography, expand my knowledge of pharmacy beyond the scope of what is taught in school. I want to allow myself to dream about the future, to be a better leader, and get more involved in the community. I want to make more time for the friendships that I have had for all these years and not dwell upon failed ones.

While I may not necessarily be that thrilled about the hype of New Years Eve this year and spending it away from those I love, I am truly hoping for a better tomorrow and year to come. 

Happy 2013 to you and yours.  

Saturday Morning Ramblings

Every now and then you have to remind yourself that you are your own priority. That there are things in this world that you need to accomplish and they aren't sitting around waiting. Even more importantly you have to remember that other people are in the same boat. We're just all desperately trying to make the rest of our lives happen. Sometimes you have to cut both yourself and others a little slack to let it happen. Who want's to become a burden, who wants to hold someone back from their own success in life. Sometimes you have to remember the memories that were created and hold on to them for dear life till you can be back in that situation again. Until then they're too busy making themselves a priority, as should you. 

When did I become an adult?

It's funny how life changes as you get older. Suddenly you have responsibilities, suddenly you think like an adult and about adult things. This semester I've been traveling home at any chance I can. Partially to escape the business of the city, but mostly to spend time with my family. I remember years ago, complaining that I was bored of just hanging out with my parents or that I wanted to do something exciting (of course the only "exciting option" in suburbia for a teenager was to go shopping or to the movies). Now a days I find myself valuing everything my parents have done for me. I have great respect for all the sacrifices they have made in their lives and continue to make to make our lives better. Home is only a few hours away and while my next visit home is in the near future, I find that leaving home each time feels incredibly bittersweet. No amount of time that I spend at home seems sufficient. Part of me doesn't want to miss a second of memories with them. Part of me feels their every bit of excitement, anxiety, and other emotions. I guess this is happens when you're an adult and realize that it's not so bad that you're parents have become you're greatest friends and have always been your greatest support.  

I'm Baaaackkk!

For quite some time I've been meaning to come back to this little tiny place in the blogosphere but never quite got a chance. When I began the blog I was going through a lot of difficult things and was in the midst of a very chaotic end to my first year of pharmacy school. But here I am after a much needed break, not just from this little bloggie but from life in general. I needed the break to refresh and reboot my system. It sounds cheesy and storybook to say it but I really needed that time to rebuild and rediscover myself. It felt like my body and soul were completely broken apart and I didn't have much positive energy to put out there.

Theloveyourselfchallenge.tumblr.com

But like I said here I am, smilier and happier and fully rebooted. How have you guys been? Is it just me or is this summer flying by at record speeds? End of July? 3 days left till I'm back to the obligations of the life of a pharmacy student? Say what?

Since my little disappearing act I've been busy with a retreat to St.Maarten for some R& R:

I've been catching up on some intelligent television programming:

The Bachelorette

Chopped

Around The World in 80 Plates

I've also been loading up on a few other guilty pleasures...HGTV, being crafty, and shopping like a mad woman. Here's a sneak peak (I'll go into it more in another post.. this is already turning into a long rambling random post)

So anywaysssss that's a bit of what I've been up to, what have you been up to these past few weeks (months? oh boy)

Life is complicated. Sometimes the one thing that you were the most against ends up being the best thing for you and all you can do is step back and enjoy the ride. 

"Hey Baby, I'm missing you like crazy"

I'm busy studying cardiovascular pathophysiology for a big test this week (WOOHOO!) but I thought I'd leave you with two cute videos of songs that are currently playing on repeat in my head until I have something more exciting to talk about than Myocardial Infarctions. Enjoy!

Spring Break

It's funny how as you grow up the meaning of Spring break evolves. When I was young it meant a time of all the TV watching I could stomach, food cooked by mom, and not having to be in school. As I got older I was fortunate enough to have that become my family's choice vacation time. Some of my most cherished memories are from the vacations we would go on for that one week. The most memorable ones being a trip to Italy for my 13th birthday (my one and only wish that year was to be on a gondola on the day of my birthday.. I don't think I realized how lucky I was for that to come true) and a trip to Cancun that resulted in my family purchasing a timeshare (a decision that has lead to even more memorable trips around the world). Aside from a cruise with a friend a couple of years ago, Spring Break now simply means a time to catch up. A time to catch up on sleep, to remember that the gym exists, to catch up on school work/prep for the monstrous weeks ahead, and to fit in doctors check ups and all of those fun errands we put aside hoping they will magically get done on their own.

This spring break started about a week ago. Fortunately I have a very social group of classmates who are always game for happy hour and a good time so we kicked off Spring Break immediately after our last exam. We headed straight to Blockheads and sat outside in the unseasonably warm NYC weather. If you've never been its a great spot for happy hour especially with a big group. I mean who could say no to $5 margaritas? Oh and did I mention they have options for indecisive people (that would be me)... Sangria+Margarita in one cup? Done and done.

We didn't want the fun to end and wandered through neighboring Times Square. We decided to be tourists and see what all the hype about the Toys R Us's ferris wheel was all about. Fun fact.. They actually let adults on it. While I'm sure it was quite entertaining for all the young children watching us, the ride itself was somewhat slow and overrated. What was more enjoyable than the actual ride was having a day of random fun with good friends. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much. We continued on to Vintage for drinks with more classmates.

Aside from our random day of adventures the rest of my so called vacation has been pretty low key, exactly what I needed. I've been able to catch up with my family and childhood friends and while a trip to somewhere tropical this week would have been amazing, I've realized that sometimes we need some low key downtime to refresh and reboot.